The Perils of Joan and her Keys I was born in the State of Infancy, grew up in the State of Poverty, and it appears I will die in the State of Confusion. As a young person, I always wondered what old people do when they retire. They always seem so busy but I couldn't figure out why. Now I know. They spend all their time hunting things they lose or forget. (I'm not retired, but I'm old, and it still works that way.) I have never had a good relationship with Keys. Keys on a piano and the key any given song is written in - I can handle. But keys that unlock doors and cars are my bugaboo. Take today for example, oh, why not just take the last week. It all started last Thursday night. I grabbed the church van key out of my keybox near the door and laboriously made my way half a block down past my house, hobbling along with my cane to make sure I didn't fall, only to find once I got there that I had the wrong bunch of keys. Made my way back to the house, but the ...