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THE SEASONS OF FRIENDSHIP

 Many years ago I came across a quote from somebody that “God created time to keep everything from happening at once.”  I will add to that the idea that God created the weather seasons to keep our life adventuresome and never boring.  That is definitely true here in Missouri where we celebrate the seasons to an extreme, and sometimes more one season over and over at different times!


My favorite season is always the one we’re in at any given time, but spring especially brings joy  to me with its constant stream of promises.  Every seed the gardeners plant, every bud that appears in my husband’s hanging baskets around our yard,  proclaim the promise of new life.


 The bright daffodil pokes its yellow head up through the ground and seems to illuminate the grey twigs and leaves that have kept it buried for months.  The purple crocus appears in the most unlikely places to remind us again of the change of the seasons.


Gospel song writer Bill Gaither penned a song several years ago called “Thank God For The Promise of Spring”, and wrote another one called “Roses Will Bloom Again” made famous by Jeff and Sheri Easter who recently sang here in Lebanon.


Sometime back in the late 1980’s we had one of those Ozark winter ice storms roll in, and by the time it had rolled back out, many of our trees and shrubbery were broken beyond repair.  Milan tried to salvage a redbud tree on the north side of the house but finally gave up and picked up the broken pieces and carried them into our basement to dry out since we were  heating with wood at the time.


Then when April came around he went down to the basement and when he came back up he was carrying a sizeable piece of the redbud wood in the shape of a “Y”, and right in the notch was a beautiful green twig with a bud on it just ready to bloom.


It was such a powerful reminder that inherent in every living thing is the desire to live again, even after the cold death of winter when hope for new life seems to be gone.  It was resurrection in our basement. 


There are other seasonal aspects to our lives which have been so well expressed in a little essay which has appeared in various forms for several years now and I have never seen an attribution as to authorship.


The premise of the essay is that over our lifetime, people come into our lives for different reasons and stay only for a while.  They come to help us through a season of difficulty, to provide us with guidance and support,  but they are with us only temporarily.   For whatever reason they will say or do something to end the relationship.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes a conflict arises and we have to take a stand.  But they come to meet a need, perhaps even as an answer to prayer, and they have a lasting impact on our lives, and just because the relationship eventually ends doesn’t mean it wasn’t important.


There are those who come into our lives at a special season of life, usually during our schooldays.  During that time we create lasting memories of sleepovers, music, birthday parties, sports events, church camp.   During those precious years we spend almost every waking moment together.  But then change occurs,  and the end of those relationships can be devastating.  We go off in different directions and grow up in different ways, and we don’t hold on to each other anymore.


Some people are in our lives for a lifetime.   These are the  special friends who help us build a strong emotional foundation for life, those who are with us through the hardships, the laughs and the memories.  These are the friends who stick with us through every season of life.  When change comes to these relationships the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder comes into play, and change strengthens the relationship instead of destroying it.  You may not see each other for months, or even for years at a time, but when you do meet again it’s like you were never separated and you easily pick up the last conversation you had just where you left it off months or years ago.


The Bible says that “iron sharpens iron”, and these are the friends from whom we learn.  We have discussions but never arguments, and when we part we are better people than when we came together.


Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.  And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  


I wish I had known all of this earlier - that life is a series of relationships in addition to immediate family which of course is our primary circle of love.    I would have paid more attention.  I would have treasured the moments more.  I would have taken more pictures, both literally and those I have put away in my mind.


So as I close this somewhat rambling stream of thoughts, I go back to another set of lyrics composed by Bill Gaither:  “Old friends, after all of these years, just old friends, through laughter and tears, old friends, what a find, what a priceless treasure, old friends, like a rare piece of gold, my old friends, make it great to grow old, old friends, through all I will hold to old friends.”


And if this column has inspired you to reach out to someone you haven’t talked with in far too long a time, then I hope you will do so - sooner, not later.


© Joan Rowden Hart 2017


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