WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT PREJUDICE

The etymology of the word “prejudice” teaches us a great lesson. It does not have to do with race or color or gender, or profession or education, or any other physical or mental attribute. It simply means to pre-judge without knowing, and all our prejudices come about because we have pre-judged someone. We don’t like them because we don’t know anything about them.

I have learned several things about relationships over my eight decades of life - it is entirely possible to have a deep friendship with someone even when you don’t agree with them on a lot of things.

Back in the day when two men living together were just room mates and nothing else, one of my favorite TV shows was “The Odd Couple”. Tony Randall and Jack Klugman epitomized the idea that two people could get along in the same house even when they were as different as night and day.

Many marriages, including my own, are living proof that opposites attract. My husband is softspoken, quiet, reserved and very private. I have just the opposite personality traits. Yet we are still happy together after 60 years of marriage.

Probably the most modern Odd Couple relationship was that of Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, both now deceased. Their close friendship, along with their respective spouses, was an enigma to the friends in their social circles in Washington, D.C. They almost always vigorously disagreed on cases on the Court. Scalia was known as a conservative - Ginsburg a very vocal liberal. Their relationship was built on the things they both enjoyed, the opera and good food, and respect for their intellectual genius.

Which brings me to the third point I wanted to make.

The ability to converse and informally debate any controversial issue, to agree to disagree, to enjoy time spent in repartee, always enhances any relationship.

As Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The most enjoyable times I have had have been those times with my colleagues as we sat together and dissected every topic we could think of especially things on which we disagreed. Sometimes it was with other insurance agents and financial advisers when I worked for New York Life. Even more fascinating to me as a pastor were the many hours spent in somebody’s home after church, over pie and coffee, discussing the Bible with my colleagues and the meaning of life in general.

Now, although I am confined to my home and unable to get out in the public arena, there is still Facebook where my friends and I discuss politics and current events.

Whatever the subject, I refuse to argue about anything. There would be plenty to argue about if I wanted to do it. Just being a conservative pro-life woman is controversial in itself. But when you throw in the fact that I am a woman ordained to ministry and have served as senior pastor in several churches, that opens up all sorts of possibilities.

But no one ever gains by argument or confrontation. It only entrenches more deeply the beliefs already held and usually ends in hurt feelings or even the loss of the friendship. I will discuss almost anything with anybody as long as the discussion is consensual and we all have an open mind and are willing to listen to other viewpoints.

So to pull this all together, it is important we remember that if we pre-judge someone on any matter before we get to know them, we are crushing any opportunity to have a relationship with them, and thereby may be missing out on one of the most important things in life - friendship based on understanding, intellect, and appreciation of diversity.

COMMUNION ON THE MOON

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. (Melody Beattie) Americans need a day dedicated to gratitude. I have noticed that in the lineup of most of our holidays that Thanksgiving is perhaps the one least given over to secularism - the one we still observe in a traditional fashion. We need it to keep our focus clear and to teach our children what it means to be thankful for family, friendship and faith. We need a time to gather around the table with extended family and enjoy turkey and dressing and gravy, two kinds of potatoes, cranberries, hot rolls, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie and whipped cream. We need it, not for the calories, but to create an awareness that there are those who don’t have those blessings, because in the hectic pace of our everyday lives we tend to forget those in need. Family and food are important, but above all else, Americans need a rededication to our faith. Faith brought the pilgrims to the ne...

FELINE GHOSTS

FELINE GHOSTS... Feeling ghosts around me today Shadows of cats I have known Feline ghosts, I call them, Cats who have made this their home. Sometimes I feel the gentleness Of soft fur nestled close in my arms And it seems I can hear the soft purring Of remembered kitty cat charms I see them move through the shadows Just a glimpse, then out of my sight Sometimes it’s the white tail tipping That I see in the dark of the night The movements are quiet and fleeting I see them at nighttime and day Just figments of my imagination Grayson, Annie, or Ollie at play. They knew this house was their castle They reigned in each room where they played They slept when they wanted and ate all they could Feline memories stay close, they don’t fade. It’s autumn that I really miss them When hickory nuts start to fall I can see kitty faces so precious In the windows that line up my wall The hickory tree looks in the windows As squirrels ...

SIGNERS OF DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

I wrote this for the newspaper several years ago. Not political. Just history about the signers of the Declaration of Independence but extremely interesting. Not because I wrote it, but because it is history we have either forgotten, or maybe never learned it in school to begin with. Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence? Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well ...

Straight From The Hart

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